Wolford thick tights, tokio 7 cashmere shorts, vintage dior top

jodphur pants by The Row, proenza schouler cashmere cardigan, rick owens top, thomas wylde boots (my loves)

rick owens black top under marc jacobs collection berry velvet dress



amazing, amazing too much going on in life to even sit & write about it all

michael and his brother came to manhattan to spend the day with me. we had a great time. we ate at some strange little clockwork orange type restaurant in the west village and sat inside of a birdcage. i met mike's brother, john, who was very sweet. we had dessert drinks at yaffa cafe in the east village and walked around a lot. i showed them both this apartment and we hung out here for a while. everything was fun except for the dramatic ending at Penn station. i am such a spazz...um... to put it lightly.
i find it hard to sleep these days. i drink dunkin donuts cappucinos at 3am and i never want to sleep. i just e-mailed this guy i met at my friend's dinner party about contacting his agent [he's an actor who does steady commercial work and he said he would hook me up with a meeting] tomorrow i will:
-find a gym
-look up acting classes [both long and short term]
-go to chanel and have them sew a sequin back onto my purse/ maybe find gloves?
-go to duane reade and buy a small sewing kit
-maybe go to my mom's and pick up my balenciaga jacket/ maybe her barney's card as well. i could use some retail therapy
-take a look at my resume
-go to apple store and have them fix my macbook's dvd player

tuesday i wanna go to the MET and or pick up michael in new jersey and either hang out with him there or invite him to the museum

from red to black again:





_______________________________



tiny tidbit of closet
men's pajamas

these are just a few shots of the new apartment. once i actually finalize purchasing it, it's going to be completely gutted and renovated. i want glossy ebony hardwood floors, rich shades of purple on the walls, maybe wallpaper, maybe wainscotting...an area rug, take down the wall unit and of course, buy all new furniture. the views of the city are beautiful. so very old school sleazy 70s/80s glam new york. i believe andy warhol used to live on this street. im near the russian tea room, carnegie hall, chanel, fao schwarz, and the petrossian restaurant, as well as bergdorf goodman and central park. so much loveliness. i can't wait to hang the chandelier and sign on the dotted line for this adorable one bedroom co-op. i hope my mother's friend lets me keep some of the artwork. he's got an original haring hanging by the little office desk!
...that last photo is of me in the back of a limo riding through the battery tunnel on the way to a friends dinner party in brooklyn. i like it because i look exactly like how i was feeling at that moment. slightly shell-shocked...

so i fell in love with a handsome italian, and he fell in love with me...
i lived with him for a month and we spent practically every moment together
every moment was magic.
our union has been blessed by all who know us, even a very flattering jon voight, who approached us with lovely compliments in beverly hills one evening
i am currently in nyc, about to move into an apartment near bergdorf goodman and central park (!!)
i am really loving my life right now but miss the italian terribly, although he will be in new jersey visiting family for the thanksgiving holiday beginning tomorrow. for actual thanksgiving, i will be having an early dinner with my mother and her boyfriend (lobster...we aren't very traditional in this house), and then i will be at a friend's dinner party in brooklyn. perhaps in the morning i will meet with hannah and go with her to the thanksgiving day parade.

adorable wool and cashmere Marc Jacobs Collection sweater
Burberry boots
Converse grayish sequin low tops

i don't really understand this look other than i'm trying to bring some cheer to winter in NYC...haha

so i technically moved to nyc, left the car with friends of my mothers who have extra space in their garage, flew back to los angeles for knee surgery and am currently recuperating. i am walking TONS and have been going to the movies, seeing friends and lovers, and just trying to rest up before i hit the ground running in new york. i've been daydreaming of my clothes i shipped off to my mother's and remembered this dress by Chloe.

i cannot tell you how great this dress is & how much it suits me. it was a good buy and i plan on wearing it in NYC with last season's Chloe floral tights and this season's new Chloe heeled motorcycle boots.
i guess i'm playing dress-up in my head, but it's the only way i can satisfy myself being so far away from 99% of my clothes. oh, that and i saw The September Issue today and must say it was the perfect rainy day documentary to watch by yourself with nothing but a london fog tea latte in your hand and a hooded sweatshirt with the hood on your head.
anna wintour's daughter bee is SO pretty! i cant believe i just realized this.

what are you daydreaming about wearing for fall/winter?
what fragrances are you loving lately? i've been wearing Chloe a lot. you know, i totally fell out of love with Chloe since the new designer took over..i think it was spring/summer 2009? the last collection i adored was f/w 2008/09. anyway, for someone out of love with new chloe, im crushing pretty hardcore on old chloe.

cold cheer, new york style

i have more
louis vuitton runway skirt [from the richard prince collection) with sequins and tulle and silk and studded embroidery in candy colours, paired with louis vuitton floral ball necklace and a 1) silk prada white label pajama top or 2) jil sander gray cashmere sweater
both look so cute and funky on. the skirt is really killer amazing. i tried it on with my nude catsuit and the flesh tone went so well with it i think it ought to be paired only with opaque nude tones and very funky shoes. the skirt is surprisingly versatile too. to winterize this look for NY weather, im thinking my maison martin margiela gradient cowboy booties, nude wool tights, perhaps patterned, or maybe even my sparkly floral chloe tights depending on the top, the prada top, the vuitton ball necklace to tie it all together, and add a gray short cardigan on top for warmth. funky for sure but definitely cheerful for those days my mostly black and jewel tone dark closet staples just wont cut it.

currently recovering from knee surgery @ my aunt's house in LA near the old Charlie Chaplin mansion. nude catsuit, new bordeaux floppy felt hat, louis vuitton tulle & sequin runway skirt from the richard prince collection (!), the majority of the rest are photos from my wonderful cross country road trip. my favorite state was Tennessee, where i hung out in a tiny witch shoppe in the backwoods for nearly 4 hours.

this is me couch surfing at a friends house (i'm homeless at the moment. next week my friend michael is coming out to LA and we are driving my benz cross country to NY.)
the pic seems very lara flynn boyle circa twin peaks to me, no?


can't wait to purchase this shirt, but not until NYC. will buy it from the madison ave. store. :)

i went to TARGET today to buy a travel toothbrush and wound up buying some tie dye tank top with a peace sign on it that's long enough to be a mini dress. i thought it would go well with the road trip aesthetic. kind of honky tonk hippy witch kelly bundy. my life is really weird

long time, all!
in short:
-moving back to nyc this month
-been going on lots of adventures including skinny dipping at 4am in church pools with handsome italian boys and dancing and kissing midwestern boys young enough to be my little brother <3
-chicago was awesome
-been buying lots of lingerie and "lingerie clothes" from kiki de montparnasse & agent provocateur. i'd go in there once a day for about a week & a half straight for a while
-IV injections of iron for my terrible anemia
-way, way too much to write about here...

fashion wise im looking forward to mohair and plaid cashmere by The Row, som new jil sander boots and a minimalist apartment in manhattan supplemented with fashion district discarded supplies, like clothing racks and fabric swatches big enough to quilt a couch. i wonder if my mom is still goig to be so quick and excited to take me lunching at the rotunda since im not just visiting. or will it be home cooking?

anna sui maroon slip dress
elizabeth & james grey top
**************************

a teeny tiny snippet of the past few weeks

beautiful boy, bizarre behaviour, friends, swing sets in parks, wolves in parks watching them howl together, new york bliss, 1am rollerskating to industrial music with goths, making friends on airplanes, being swept off my feet, shellac concert, party in the hollywood hills with the cheesiest people ever, but jesus was there, mexican food in echo park, watching many roseanne re-runs, going back to new york again next week, going through a great depression and still trying to figure it all out, popping my cherry at opening ceremony in nyc, rainy romance, crying in acting class to my buddies, doing a terribly shitty job and then doing well, learning patience and restraint and faith and hating the lows, etc etc etc. it's no wonder i havent devoted any time to the blog. i hope it continues (except for the crazy mood swings..i hope that stops and that i grow up a bit.)

....And the WINNER is.....

The winner of the Elizabeth & James Grey Deconstructed Tee contest sponsored by chickdowntown.com is::::

DIANE (ONCHINO)

please respond to this post with your e-mail address and i'll pass along your info to the girls @ the website.

Thanks for playing!!

Hey all,

I know I've been MIA recently, and I will be back soon. Life has been keeping me very occupied lately!
In the meantime, I've found out about this cool new website called chickdowntown.com and I've partnered up with them to host a contest as a treat to all of you! You all have the chance to win a Grey Deconstructed Tee seen here:

(a wardrobe staple I am coveting- think Basquiat) by the Olsen's amazing line, Elizabeth and James and compliments of chickdowntown.com. Be sure to check out their website for more Elizabeth and James clothing and designer dresses. Some of my favourites include most of the MQ Alexander McQueen dresses for a fun print and an edgy silhouette perfect for Summer and versatile enough to incorporate into Fall, the always in style flappery Alice + Olivia feather skirt dress, and the Gryphon sequin tunic for casual glamour. (I'd probably even layer the grey deconstructed tee over the dress)

(The winner will be chosen by me and will be the one with the wittiest comment to this post. I'll give you guys a few days :)

chickdowntown.com on Twitter
chickdowntown.com on Facebook Fan page
(follow chickdowntown.com on the following sites to ensure the inside scoop on all new arrivals, sales and offering giveaways.)

i was at a party at a church in the skid row area on saturday night. it was extremely surreal. 1920s flapper outfits, banjos, barbeque's at 2am in the smoking area, reggae music, 80s revenge of the nerds disco lights, nerds dancing, my pale face/black hair + my rainbow brite coloured striped little boys sweater with black swiss dot sleeves, getting hit on by all the WASPy chaps i ran into at the party (Laura and I don't really understand this), a barnyard ladder climb, photos & more photos by photographers, dancing (but not enough!), silent films on the wall, and walking through skid row by ourselves at 3am, amidst tents(!!) of homeless people...for about ten blocks. the stench of garbage, shit and piss. did i mention that just maybe 8 hours prior we had been dining at the Polo Lounge at The Beverly Hills Hotel? i had a tiny $6 latte, the McCarthy salad and potato leek soup. it was delicious.

At the David Lynch art reception at the Michael Kohen gallery. The exhibition is aptly titled, "Dark Night of the Soul". The photography was amazing.
My photo was snapped several times by a Japanese photographer. And Laura was approached by a photographer. I enjoyed the crowd..lots of oddballs like myself. Lynch did not show but I'm confident I'll get a chance to shake hands with him one day soon. He seems to hang out around the theatre district where I attend the studio...

In love news, someone I was pining over months ago who disappeared on me suddenly contacted me out of the blue (5 months later) and is now ready to date me. I thought I was dreaming.
I don't think I am interested anymore. I have mourned and healed and moved on. But the LORD sure does work in mysterious ways...

Then there's some boarding school young boy of 23 who works for a producer who keeps contacting me after we kissed at a gothic nightclub where he stood out like a sore thumb (polo shirt and izod sweater anyone?) he keeps texting me and invited me bowling.

Then there are the two boys from my youth who I'm hoping to see again in NYC in a couple of weeks. One is on a cruise right now and the other is the sweetest guy ever.
It is so nice to like more than one person at one time. What a relief not to get caught up in any one individual.
Until the right one proves themselves to me, it is wonderful to just sit back and relax and let them come into my life.

((WEARING))
Rick Owens dress

Last night I struggled with the most intense acting class of my life. We were asked to go to the darkest of places and do exersises with a partner based on either having been stabbed or raped. I did not think I had the energy to go there yesterday, but I did. In fact, i wound up immersing myself so much in my role, I don't even know where it all came from. It was as if my whole being took on a life of its own. The first thing I did was change into old, worn pajamas. Then I went to bury my head underneath the faucet and soak all my hair in water. Then I doused my body in Gin. Then I placed stage blood on certain areas of my face and hands in subtle ways, so as to make it look like the cuts were still deep enough that even after a shower, I was still bleeding and did not realize it.
I went to prepare emotionally backstage as my partner was helping place my props out on the stage for me.
Once I actually came out on the stage I became rather naked and hysterical (in my own personal way. The way I respond to trauma may be different than the way someone else would). My partner played my friend who had just come home to see me in that condition.
There was a moment when we both hugged each other and began sobbing hysterically on the bed. I also remember wanting her to leave me alone and hiding underneath a chair.
It was so intensely awful that even once the scene was over, I couldn't shake it off and I went to bed last night very traumatized and upset.
I'm still a bit shaken up.
To say I'm the only one would be unfair. Every one of my classmates last night gave it their all and from the first scene to the last scene I sat in the audience frightened, terrified, and depressed at their behaviour. (One talented guy did a scene where both his eyes had been cut out and came into the room with his eye sockets bleeding.)

Bill asked if we wanted to go for round 2 this Thursday. Everyone (hesitantly) responded yes.

staying alive pose?

before heading out last night in Chloe & Demeulemeester

indifference, the plague that moves throughout this land

what a hideous picture that second one is! haha
((Wearing))
Ivan Grundahl swiss dot leggings
Proenza Schouler cashmere cardigan dress
red t-shirt from a red-carpet event gift bag that Laura got me.
She's been attending all these fancy shindigs while I've been working hard at the acting studio and she is sweet to always bring home bags of goodies from the parties. Once she brought home a beautiful bouquet of white roses and lilies!